Emily D.

EMILY D.
When I was in elementary school, I had to memorize a little poem by Emily Dickinson that my poetry book titled “Chartless”: I never saw a moor. I never saw the sea, yet know I how the heather looks and what a wave must be. I never spoke with God nor visited in heaven, yet certain am I of the spot as if a chart were given.
I thought that the poem was a record of childlike faith, and I liked it very much. I also liked the fact that it was short, had easy, definite rhyme, and thus was not very difficult to memorize, which made it a fairly painless school assignment.
It wasn’t until I studied Emily Dickinson in college that I realized this poet had been far from having the childlike faith I’d identified with her. Poems of hers containing lines like “The Bible is an antique volume written by faded men” and “Of God we ask one favor, that we may be forgiven—for what, he is presumed to know—that Crime, from us, is hidden” testify to the bitterness and anger of a woman who could neither discount God’s existence nor accept its relevance to her. She continually mentions God, seeming unable to get away from the concept of Him, but she says “that Crime” which God holds her responsible for is “from us hidden.” The very opposite of childlike faith, an intellectual, “adult” unwillingness to accept God’s way as right and true though she doesn’t fully understand it, keep her from acknowledging her sin and consequent need of God.
Dickinson’s pride would not allow her to see her limitations. She could fix things in God’s place, she seemed to think. Certainly, she would be a better “Christian,” if Christianity were true, than her tyrannical, religious father, whom she to some extent seemed to connect with God, as being similarly unkind and incompetent.
Intelligence is a terrible thing when smart people think that they are smarter than God. Of course, this perspective is actually stupid. After all, their very intelligence is God-given. I suppose Dickinson, who loved the world God created but not its Creator, may serve as a negative example that we may learn from. If we are certain of the existence of heaven and have a desire to go there, we must also be certain of the trustworthiness of God, as certain as we should be of the sinfulness of man, though the only way to reach this position of certainty is by faith.