Ecc Study 16

Study Number Sixteen

Reread Ecclesiastes 9. Read Ecclesiastes 10.

“Enjoy life with your wife, whom you love”

Annie gazed silently at her beautiful niece. Lauren’s thick shiny dark hair touched her shoulders. Her skin was clear and rosy. Her wide dark eyes were so hopeful. They reminded Annie of Kate’s, which were also very round, though Lauren’s dark coloring was her father’s.
Lauren was talking earnestly about her wedding plans. She wanted to get married on the beach. She wanted to be barefoot, feel the sand between her toes, and wear flowers in her hair, but she didn’t want to feel like a sixties’ flower child. She wanted a relatively elegant and solemn service, one that expressed the greatness of the commitment of marriage and that was truly God-honoring. She wanted to know if Annie thought she should stand under an arch or something.
It was time for Annie to say something, but she didn’t particularly want to join the conversation. She wanted to touch the fabric of Lauren’s cap-sleeved, empire-waisted blouse. It was filmy and shimmery and changed colors with Lauren’s movements, from gray blue to pale green to gold to salmon and then to a purplish color. It seemed to catch the light and work almost like a prism with all those different hues. Like Lauren herself, beautiful, fascinating, multi-faceted, full of promise. Annie had no idea what it was made out of, some man-made blend that managed amazingly to be both casual and dressy and wash well, probably, as Lauren wore the blouse quite frequently and it always looked nice, even though Lauren wasn’t particularly fastidious. Today she wore it with white Capri pants. Last time Annie had seen her in it she’d paired it with a knee-length skirt, also white. White was the bridal color after all.
“Do you think an arch is a good idea?” Lauren said. Annie was aware she was repeating herself, and thankful for the lack of impatience in her tone. She was used to her aunt.
“Some kind of back drop is a good idea, if you don’t have the ocean behind you,” Annie said. “A piece of driftwood, maybe, decorated with flowers. What kind of flowers do you plan to use?”
“I don’t know,” Lauren said. “Not roses. Wild flowers, probably.”
“Sounds good,” said Annie. She lifted her mug of coffee to her mouth to take a sip. The Eiffel tower charm on her charm bracelet clinked on the side of the cup. She’d gotten it when she took a group of students to Europe last summer. They’d spent two full days at the Louvre. Annie could lose herself in almost any art museum, not matter how small. She thought she could have spent a year at the Louvre and still been eager for more. But of course, she’d had to give herself and her students a deadline.
Annie wondered how it was possible for Lauren to be so single-minded. For her own part, Annie was growing very weary of wedding plans. It seemed like the wedding was all she and Lauren ever talked about when they got together any more, even when Ben’s sister Sarah had stayed with Annie while Sarah was visiting Ben over a weekend. Ben and Lauren had come over for the day Saturday and on Sunday afternoon. They’d looked at bridal magazines and listened to wedding music and gone to dress shops and party stores. Annie had left them to their own devices, not going shopping with them, and puttering around the house while they visited in the living room, but she still heard the chatter and knew what they were up to. Lauren liked to run ideas past her all the time too. She had gotten it into her head that Annie was sort of her wedding coordinator, it seemed.
For her part, Annie had had enough of weddings. As a teacher, Annie was invited to quite a number of weddings, though probably not as many as Clare, since Annie taught high school students and Clare taught at a college. Still, Annie had had a number of students get married a year or two, occasionally even immediately, after finishing high school, and sometimes even those who waited until they finished college to marry, still had kept up with or remembered their old art teacher and were fond enough of her to want her in attendance on their special day. Annie usually enjoyed the weddings, except for a fleeting feeling of regret that she couldn’t quite define, even for herself. But then there was Allison’s wedding. After Allison’s wedding, Annie no longer appreciated the invitations, no longer very much wanted to be a part of even her niece’s. She felt too much sadness to share in their joy.
Allison had asked Annie to help her with her wedding much as Lauren wanted Annie’s help. Annie had been a little reticent. Although she knew Allison was really “crazy” about Greg, her parents weren’t as certain that he was the best choice for her. They didn’t forbid her to marry him, but they did ask her to wait a little longer. Their disapproval only seemed to make Allison more determined to marry Greg as soon as possible. She wouldn’t listen to anything anyone said to deter her.
It was Annie who found out why the young girl was in such a hurry. As Allison left her classroom one morning, looking a little nauseated, Annie decided she would get an explanation for what she felt sure was occurring. She intended for Allison to tell her in so many words so that there would be no doubt. When Allison returned to the room, Annie asked her to stay after class.
Allison tried to slip out of the room with the other students, but Annie caught her by the arm as she started for the door. “Where are you going?” Annie said, keeping her tone light, as one of the other students looked on curiously. “You didn’t forget I asked you to stay after class, did you?”
Allison’s answering smile was small and quickly faded. “I guess I did,” she said. Annie was fairly confident the girl was lying. She seemed aware of her teacher’s knowledge and wouldn’t look her in the eyes.
When the classroom was empty, Annie said, “Look, I know you want to get to lunch, so I won’t keep you long. I’ve just noticed that you haven’t been quite—yourself—lately. Actually, you’re probably not that eager for lunch. Stomach not quite up to it?”
“No, I’m hungry,” Allison said quickly.
“Maybe so,” said Annie. “Sometimes being hungry makes you feel sick to your stomach.”
“I think so,” Allison said.
Annie had to agree that such was possible; she even knew that Allison’s condition might make it more so. “Been really hungry lately, huh? And queasy a lot too? And tired? And—“
“Don’t say it,” Allison said quickly. “I don’t want to talk about it. Soon it will be over and nobody has to know.”
“What are you talking about?” Annie said. “What do you mean it will be over soon? You’re not going to—“
“I might,” Allison said defiantly. Now her eyes met Annie’s. They were harshly bright. Her face looked tired and her hair looked like it could use a wash. “You can’t stop me,” she said. “I’ll do whatever I want.”
“Oh, Allison,” said Annie.
Allison started to cry. She folded her arms across her chest and tried to hurry from the room. Annie grabbed her and pulled her back. “I know you’re hurting. I know you think you’ve discovered a solution, but you haven’t. Does Greg know? It is Greg’s, isn’t it?”
“Of course, it’s his,” Allison said, still defiant, “there’s never been anyone else.”
For you, Annie wanted to say, but knew doing so wouldn’t help the situation. Allison would surely lash out at anyone who questioned Greg’s character, even if it seemed obviously questionable.
“Does he know?” Annie said again.
Allison nodded. Annie loosened her grip on the girl’s arm but didn’t release her. She waited for Allison to respond verbally.
“I told him. He says we’ll just tell people the baby is premature. That’s why we moved up the wedding date. Even if they realize the truth, he says it’s not a big deal—everybody’s doing it, living together and stuff, even Christians,” Allison said in a whisper. Annie was hardly able to make out her words. “But I don’t know if I’m ready to be a mother. And I don’t know if Greg wants to be a father. I think he blames me for letting this happen. Maybe he feels pressured into marrying me. Maybe he’ll resent me. So I’ve thought about taking care of it.” Allison’s whispered the last few words and dropped her head slightly. Then she raised it and her eyes suddenly blazed with hope. “But I want him to marry me and he’s going to. Maybe he’ll just love the baby when he sees it, and he’ll be glad for it. Dad and Mom will forget about not liking him. They’ll forgive me. They’ll love the baby too.”
Annie was having trouble sorting through Allison’s thinking processes, and she didn’t know what to tell the girl to do. “You don’t have to marry Greg, you know,” Annie said finally, knowing even as she spoke that those words were the ones Allison would be the least receptive to. “But I do think you should keep the baby and tell your parents. They love you.”
Allison looked dubious. She pulled away from Annie. “You won’t tell Mom, will you?”
Annie hesitated.
Allison’s face clouded. “You’re not my friend if you do,” she said. Her words were childish, but filled with adult emotion.
Annie knew it would be very difficult for her to do something Allison would perceive as betrayal. She spoke slowly, “I think you need to tell them. No—I know you do. You must, Allison.” Annie’s words were firm and deliberate. She prayed Allison would be swayed by them. “I need to tell you something I’ve never told anyone else. Sit down. You can share my lunch with me.”
Annie divided her taco salad into two portions, scooping hers onto the lid of the container she’d brought it in. She handed Allison the rest of it, and scrounged around in her desk for another plastic fork.
While they ate, Annie told Allison the entire sordid tale, how she’d found out she was pregnant and had know immediately that if she told Todd about the baby, their relationship would be over, how she’d “taken care of it,” and then, almost immediately, found Todd with someone else, how she’d left and never told anyone about the baby, though she ached inside, though she saw in Allison herself what she could have had. “She—I always think of her as a girl—would have been about your age,” Annie said. Causing me heartache like you are your parents, Annie added mentally, but also bringing joy. How I wish—but wishes were merely that. And yet they seemed inescapable. “I wish so much that I’d told my mom or even one of my sisters,” Annie said. “They would have told me to keep the baby, and I think—I hope—I would have listened. It would have been difficult, but it would have been so much better. You wouldn’t believe the guilt I feel—even now. On top of the guilt I struggle with because of—well, all together, it’s truly almost unbearable. Sometimes I think I—can hardly stand it. Even though I know I’m forgiven in Christ.” Annie closed her eyes for a brief second, recognizing, as she had before, that God was displeased with her feelings. Yet, to some extent, she saw them as an appropriate part of her punishment for what she had done. And then she heard a voice in her head, almost audible, say, “You can’t pay for your sins. Only I can. And I already have.”
Annie struggled to finish her portion of the taco salad, though it was very good. Allison also took a while eating hers. When she finished, she said quietly, “Thank you for telling me,” and left the room without another word.
Allison didn’t talk to Annie about the baby again. She did enlist Annie’s help in making her wedding preparations. Annie made a pencil drawing of the couple, and they used it in their invitations and programs. She also helped decorate the church and serve the punch and cake. Their ceremony took place in the church on a Saturday afternoon. It was short, small, and anything but lavish, with the primary decoration being two orange, red, pink, and yellow flower arrangements at the front of the auditorium. Annie had put them together in pots that she had painted herself. The bride carried a single long-stemmed yellow rose in her arms. Her only attendant was her sister and Greg’s brother stood with him. Just the first three pews had people in them.
Allison wore a pale pink bridal gown. She wasn’t sure she should wear white. She wasn’t showing, but everyone present—basically a number of her and Greg’s family members and a handful of friends—knew she was pregnant.
Carole had cried when Allison told her. She called Annie immediately and thanked Annie for encouraging Allison to talk to her parents right away. Annie was relieved that Allison had taken her advice and very thankful to know that the child was completely out of danger in that there no longer seemed to be any chance of Allison’s aborting the baby.
But Carole’s disappointment pained Annie. She felt it too. She also was concerned that the young couple might not be making the right choice in this hurried wedding, but understood that they felt it was the best thing for themselves and the child, mostly for the child. Annie couldn’t help but feel incredibly thankful that this child would have a chance at life and prayed that that life might be a happy one. She saw herself in Allison’s face and tried not to see his—she made herself think the name—Todd’s face in Greg’s. At least Greg was willing to marry Allison.
As Annie handed Carole a glass of punch at the reception, Carole mouthed “thank you, please pray for us” and quickly turned away, brushing tears from her eyes. No, such a situation wasn’t what you dreamed of for your daughter, but there was still hope. Still an opportunity for Greg and Allison to turn to God and strive to live the remainder of their lives His way, with this wrong far behind them, covered by God’s forgiveness if they chose to ask Him for it.
Annie’s slow acceptance of her realization that she had needed forgiveness more than they, and had been given it just as freely when she asked, made the bittersweet time more hopeful yet, though still very sad because it was so disappointing, compared to what it could have been. But Drew’s presence at the wedding disturbed her. She was beginning to believe that he might be very different from Todd. She’d noticed recently that he’d repeatedly volunteered to help out at church, with a building project—she was surprised to learn he had some construction skills, though she’d known he had administrative abilities that would aid in managing financing and hiring laborers as necessary—and with the Christmas program. Annie had almost fallen off the pew onto the floor when Drew crossed to the podium, dressed as a donkey. His monologue about Christ’s birth from the donkey’s perspective was both hilarious and thought-provoking.
Maybe it was possible for a man to be drawn to Annie and Annie to a man who desired to please God first and a woman second, someone who would honor his commitments. Maybe God would give Annie a second chance. If God would do it for Annie, He very well might do it for Allison too. He might change her husband into such a man. If only Annie could be more confident that Greg had the potential to change.

Lauren’s situation, thankfully, was completely different. Kate had no reason to worry that Ben would be unfaithful to Lauren because of a propensity toward sexual sin, nor did she have the concern of seeing a marriage begin with the blight of sin on it and the birth of a child who might not be completely welcome. But even Kate wasn’t thrilled to have her daughter marry. She far from relished the thought of her little girl going an even farther distance away from her.
God’s ways aren’t our ways, Annie thought suddenly. And He has a special plan for each of us, even when we sometimes fail to listen to Him. Annie would do whatever she could to make Lauren’s wedding beautiful. She wouldn’t even fault her for choosing to marry so young, so long as she kept her focus on serving God. What a beautiful thing to not waste your youth but use it for the Lord. He would give wisdom where strength failed. On the mission field, possibly Lauren and Ben could be more effective together than they could have been as singles. Annie for one, intended to help to keep them accountable.
“You’ve spent so much time thinking about this wedding,” Annie suddenly told her niece, who seemed unperturbed by Annie’s long silence, “and I’m sure it will all turn out well, but a wedding is just a day to celebrate the future that will follow. It’s what that future holds that is truly worth working for.”
“You’re right,” Lauren said. After a brief moment of silence on her part, she laughed. “I guess I’m a little scared about that future, even though I am anticipating it. Ben and I’ve had it pretty easy, really—God hasn’t had us face much sorrow. I have a feeling that won’t always be the case, and I hope I’m—we’re—ready for what comes next—whatever it is.”
Lauren glanced at her watch and Annie knew from the apologetic expression on her face that she was getting ready to tell her aunt she needed to go. Annie stood before Lauren had a chance to speak.
“We should be going,” Annie said.
Lauren brushed invisible crumbs off her white Capris. Annie had a feeling Lauren’s wardrobe would change on the mission field. Hey, even being a mom would probably change it. Best she enjoy it while she could.
Annie looked forward to seeing her niece in her gorgeous silken wedding gown, pure white with flowers embroidered on the bodice and on the edge of the skirt. Lauren would have a profusion of different kinds of white and blue and a few purple flowers at her wedding. Mostly wildflowers, naturally beautiful, like this girl.
She would have a huge bouquet, as would her four bridesmaids and Annie would make a driftwood and flowers concoction for a backdrop for the wedding party that even the ocean might be envious of. As they walked to Annie’s car, she told Lauren nothing of her plans and was pleased with the girl’s silence. When Lauren said, “Ben and I have been so inspired by missionary biographies we’ve read and by our parents’ and grandparents’ lives, but I don’t think there’s any way we can possibly live up to them,” Annie was inordinately pleased that the girl was taking her advice and thinking about the life she and Ben would have together, rather than just their upcoming wedding. She reached for Lauren’s hand and squeezed it tightly, then let it go.

Questions to Answer

1. Although from our perspective, life is not always equitable, God does, even in this life, reward wisdom. But how can a little folly outweigh wisdom and honor?

2. What can food and money accomplish for us, according to Ecclesiastes 9-10? What can’t they accomplish?

3. How does Ecclesiastes 9 indicate that work is difficult but rewarding?

4. What does Ecclesiastes 9 say about being careful in our speech?

5. Compare and contrast Allison and Lauren. In what way does Allison’s folly outweigh her and her family’s wisdom? How does Annie deal with her? Do you think she handles the situation well?

6. Does Annie feel Lauren has a proper focus? Does Annie have a proper focus?

7. Which of these issues do you struggle with? Something you’ve done that has tarnished your reputation, having right priorities, being careful in your speech?