Good and Bad Things Not Given

Sometimes we want something good and God chooses not to give it to us. Why? We think He wants to teach us something first, and maybe He does. We think it's just a matter of time. But He may never fulfill that desire. He may simply want us to bring it to Him and ask Him to fill us up with Himself.
He uses that pain to spur us to yearn for heaven, to recognize it as our home and not be content with where we are.
He wants us to grow closer to Him and more like Him through dependence on Him alone.
He doesn't want us to lose sight of Him in getting caught up in that thing.
To those questions and concerns and frustrations, sometimes He offers only Himself. And while it's not easy to accept that answer, it--He--is enough.
I write this while I wish I were sleeping, but my two-year-old woke me up crying because she lost her blanket. I write this while I wish I knew for sure where God wants me to be, but my husband and I are searching for an open door as it seems God has just closed the one He opened for us recently to minister where we are now. I write this hurting from accusations and belittling, from loss, but nothing more than what others face, and surely nothing compared to what Christ has faced for me. Most of all, nothing like what I deserve. I deserve hell.
I've received so much mercy.
God, help me focus on the refuge You are, on the strength that You give, that when I am weak, your strength may be more clearly seen. Help me truly find joy in You, in both the good and the bad that You choose not to bring into my life and in whatever You do bring into it.