On Conflict

Sometimes I like to argue. I find it extremely difficult to argue with my husband. He won't fight with me. He retreats or gets that deer caught in the headlights look. So I end up arguing for the both of us, literally. I argue his position as well as mine, what I think he would say in response to what I'm saying. I know, it's kind of ridiculous but it helps me! Usually I resolve the confrontation at least by recognizing the validity of another perspective, that there may not be an easy answer that will satisfy his concerns and mine.
The more I learn the more I realize I don't know. One thing I have figured out for sure is that I will never get it all figured out.
In almost every perspective there is some truth and some falsehood. Many times we must truly examine perspectives in order to see what all is really there. It is possible to, at least in a limited way, view life through the eyes of another. Reading is all about this seeing through someone else's lenses and can be good practice for real life efforts to do the same. But it is not the same. Of course, we must recognize in our own and others both the wrong and the right, with God's Word as our measuring stick. If we haven't already, we must learn to discern and even then recognize that we don't always get it right, that we don't always understand our measuring stick, ourselves, or others.
Because we are flawed by sin, as Scripture makes so clear, we are all shot through with ugliness.
Because we are made in the image of God, as Scripture also stresses, we are also infused with beauty, value and even an innate sense of hope for something better, functioning on a level above that of plants and animals, which we are not.
Mankind is simultaneously depraved and of great worth and purpose.
His choices matter but God is in control and directs him. Neither our existence nor our successes are merely the product of chance or skill. Providence is something greater than either and providence forgives. How desperately we need this forgiveness. Not easy grace but true grace.
Grace that should make us gracious. As we move closer to Him, we don't get caught in so many major arguments but show love and it's not about the show but about the affection, not for the purpose of being seen or commended but because Christ is at work in our lives to make the ugliness less and the beauty, His beauty, greater.