No matter how conniving, clever, exhilarating, sin's nothing to be proud of. Even when forgiven, it leaves scars behind. He in us, is a different way, a better one.
Sometimes I wish I had a flashier faith story. I grew up in a Christian home and at five, I told my parents I needed and wanted God's forgiveness and transformation. No egregious, outward sin to speak of was in my life, but selfishness, pride, jealousy, deceit, as heady and heavy as the outward. By God's grace, He's spared me from so much and given me freedom from many of the scars I know others carry and have been seared and softened by. I carry my own from within with bitterness, self-righteousness, resentment, and am so convicted by that weight and my continual need for cleansing, thinking far too highly of myself, failing to acknowledge Him inwardly and outwardly. I want/ I need to die that death again that I might live and one day truly know no scars.