We've had a fun spring break, going to kids' history of libraries and mad scientist presentations, going swimming, playing in the backyard, making snowmen with friends in mushy/finally melting snow, coloring Easter eggs and tracing God's plan for salvation (aided by the Jesus storybook Bible and Answers in Genesis materials, also love Bruce Ware's Big Truths for Young Hearts).

Cheri Fuller's What A Son Needs From His Mom was actually an encouraging read for me. Fuller indicates that our sons need our encouragement and involvement, our prayers, our example of faith, our acceptance of their individuality, and our willingness to step back and let them experience the consequences of their own choices. When I finished this book, I felt less overwhelmed and more empowered than I generally do after I read a parenting book, largely because I felt like I could--by God's grace-- do what she suggests. I've a tendency to try to pick my battles anyway and to give kids room to be who they are (at least in some areas; others are more of a struggle), while of course also trying to help them be guided by God's Word. Many times I feel guilty that I'm not more exacting and more consistent (which is needful). Still, giving kids room to make decisions for themselves (within reason) does have merit. I do also think it's so important to not focus on negatives (though we don't ignore them either) but to be on the look out for honest positives to share with our sons as we see God at work in their lives and recognize ways He's gifted them as individuals.
I also appreciate the quotes and stories she suggests sharing with our sons though I wish she'd given even more specific suggestions.
I received this book from Bethany House in order to review it.

Some pictures! Last week, Ernie's sister Danita (long red hair, sitting down, center) and her daughter Infinity (little blond girl) flew up for Ern's grandpa's funeral and stayed with us for a few days. The kids had a great time with their cousin, who's just about the same age as Felicity. They played games of all kinds, lots of make believe.
We make believe they live closer and we get to see them more often, but somehow the effort falls short. So we're just thankful for the time we had.

No matter how conniving, clever, exhilarating, sin's nothing to be proud of. Even when forgiven, it leaves scars behind. He in us, is a different way, a better one.
Sometimes I wish I had a flashier faith story. I grew up in a Christian home and at five, I told my parents I needed and wanted God's forgiveness and transformation. No egregious, outward sin to speak of was in my life, but selfishness, pride, jealousy, deceit, as heady and heavy as the outward. By God's grace, He's spared me from so much and given me freedom from many of the scars I know others carry and have been seared and softened by. I carry my own from within with bitterness, self-righteousness, resentment, and am so convicted by that weight and my continual need for cleansing, thinking far too highly of myself, failing to acknowledge Him inwardly and outwardly. I want/ I need to die that death again that I might live and one day truly know no scars.

Today this sweet little miss was a flower, sprouting from a seed in the ground and dancing through the muddy garden with her friends. Loved her last ballet class for the parents.

I want to put up pictures and stop being so introspective but once again I'm having issues with dropbox or I should say I'm simply confounded by technology and it gives me a headache. Thankfully, it's a strength of my husband's. Still, I hate to be constantly begging for help.
Anyway, it's just words again today that I'm recording. Just my internal life again.
You know that verse about being still or the one that says to be quick to listen and slow to speak?
Yep, that's really, really, really tough for me. I'm quick to answer back, quick to offer my opinion--not to listen. I want to get better at it, really I do, but it's so hard to not feel the need to jump in there and offer everyone my great wisdom (ha). The few times I do listen and ask questions, I learn. I even enjoy it. You'd think the results would get me to try it more often. Quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry--what I want to be and once again, need His help for.

I've always found it really frustrating when people pretend like, or maybe they actually believe, that they not only have no problems of their own, but they also can solve all your problems. I also don't like the you wouldn't believe how brilliant and accomplished I am type.
You see, that ugly fleshly me with all its pride and competitiveness rares up and is determined to beat down the best of 'em. You can't tell me I'm worthless or inferior (ironically, I've identified their problem and am about to fix it; sound familiar? I can be just like those folks I get frustrated w/). Or in the vernacular, "Nananana, you put me down, I'll put you down." (even though they may not realize their building themselves up equals putting me down). If that fails, then I resort to, "Oh, yea, well, I'm humble and proud of it!" (Ha!) 'Cause it's really really hard to compete when there's this voice ringing in the back of my head, saying you are too so inferior, so broken and messed up. It's a true voice. I can't even make excuses for my sin. It was me, not the other guy.
But I'm also a new person. Transformed. Hard to believe, sometimes. And it's a terribly slow work. (Every day, I am in need of God's help to be anything like He wants me to be). Still, it's a reality.
And if  those frustrating someones are in Him, so are they: messed up and renewed. And if they're not, they can be.
May God give us all grace with each other. How desperately we need it. All of us. 

So I just wrote a post and hit some crazy button or something and it was deleted. Ernie and I think I could be used as a weapon to disarm technology as everything I touch seems to shut down or malfunction.
I have to go pick up the kids from school in eight minutes and my sister-in-law and niece could be here any moment as they're coming in for my husband's grandpa's funeral.
I was writing a long post about educational options. I don't have time to rewrite it and maybe I'm not supposed to anyway, you think? There's a reason . . . .
So I'll just say that while I've struggled to know what the best learning environment and approach to learning is for my kids and while it is an important issue, God is gracious and big enough to use even my mistakes to His glory in their lives. I can, even as I pray and work and strive, rest in Him, rely on His help. I've had the kids in Christian school, homeschool, and a public Waldorf school. I've had some struggles, some concerns with each. I'm now trying to decide what to do next year. Sometimes I think I'm making a huge mess of things and just really need to make up my mind. Okay, so I do need to make up my mind! But I'm praying that God will use these different experiences to help each of my four very different from one another kids to find his or her own strengths and weaknesses. I want to encourage each of my kids to be who God has made him or her to be. And I want to be who He wants me to be as well and follow wherever He leads. May I know His voice, know Him, and His Words.

 This time change thing seems to be throwing me off a bit! Today I went to pick up the kids an hour early. Why on earth, you ask? If anything, I should have been an hour late if it was because of the time change. And, good grief, that was Sunday. Shouldn't I have gotten it figured out by now? Well, some of our clocks show the right time and some don't. I looked at a clock that was right and added the hour I'd been adding for those that are wrong, and thus, my mistake. A little embarrassing and hard to explain to the teachers, my kids, . . . .

 There's two of our crazies.

   You my friend and beloved, have had a tough week or so. These pictures are from last week, with the range hood on the counter while you finished the tile on the wall behind it. Then Liam's party and this week, in addition to usual pastoring responsibilities and being on call as hospital chaplain, your grandpa passed away and some in our church are struggling with an unusual challenge. May God be close to you, giving you wisdom and strength, and may I be an encouragement as well.

 I love how you love me. You tell me that when I'm old you'll take care of me. You like to remind me how much I love you. When I go around the van to open the door for you, you say to me, "You love your little girl so much. You don't want to leave her out in the van to die!" Yes, you're melodramatic, effusive. But how I love your enthusiasm, the feel of your little arms around my neck, that when you grow up you want to be a mom just like me. "The perfect mom," you say, and I know it's ridiculous, but I still love that you say it.

 

  Jumping in

 Hanging on

Letting go

I'm braver when I'm with you.

What an adventure is a birthday party for a boy turning six!We flew to the land of dragons and shot arrows at targets and dragons as we looked for treasure. We feasted. And because he's all boy, somehow some pirate and rocket and superhero fun got in there too, with legos and toys and a cape. What an imagination!! We love you, Liam.